It’s already half way through February. It’s been so hectic and crazy I barely gave a passing thought to New year’s resolutions. There was a lot I was hoping to accomplish in 2017. The past year seemed to be sub-par for everyone for a variety of reasons and I was no exception. I lost my wonderful Tony Tuxedo, for one thing. And I am still stuck in a town living in the past and driving hours to get the goods and services I need.
So the question must be, why am I so poor at achieving success with my intentions? My personal life coach thinks otherwise, but we only spend 45 minute together every two weeks. I have to admit working with her has helped and I am certainly past the point I was at when I started with her, hopelessly stuck and in emotional doldrums over it. Still, I feel like a salmon, always swimming upstream and fighting the current. Perception is everything. I don’t think my perceptions are false either. My internet service is supposed to be high speed fiber optic. But every day at 2:00 PM like clock work it slows down to old dial up speeds. It’s a regional company, a better alternative than Comcast, certainly, but I have had more problems with them than I care to enumerate here. The speed issue has only been happening since about November and I think they have oversold their network. Also Google traffic reports pop up like toadstools after the rain when i try to use You Tube or attend webinars. The network is not HD but 80% of the traffic is. When I try to get questions answered nobody seems to know anything. Tech support is clueless as to why my router keeps dropping me and has to be reset but I’m not. It’s the cheapest piece of junk I’ve ever seen. It’s the fourth one I’ve had and it’s the cheapest by far. These people have no clue I was an IT consultant for AT&T and that I know they have no clue. My livelihood and social life are mostly on line and I attribute a good deal of the current I swim against to lousy internet service.
This has also been a problem for getting on with the cat books I started to write. Also the dodgy laptop hasn’t helped. It gives the internet service a chance to blame my equipment instead of theirs. I have to use Google docs and slides for everything. With the constant freezes and problems, the instant saving that Google provides is absolutely necessary. Knowing the laptop will require an expensive repair or replacement, although less than a year old, means I have been reluctant to spend on the camera gear I want. I have so few pictures of my own cats because it’s been years since I had a decent camera.
Some of it must be down to me though. I’m far too easy going about things. So maybe my intention should be to get tough with myself and everyone else. No more slacker standards of performance. My bucket list is overflowing and I want to get out and take advantage of the summer weather this year. For so many years illness limited my activity and I want to get back in shape now I’m well enough to do so. I am tired of wasting time on what other people think is important and insist on disrupting my life with. With my mind on hiking and climbing again, I want everything shipshape and organized so I’ll be free this summer. It’s about time I had some fun and fun for me has always been something strenuous, either mentally, physically or both. If I were to take a tour it would be the kind with Indiana Jones as the guide.
I am off this morning to dump five pounds of the junk mail I’ve been chucking into a box all winter at the recycling center along with some boxes now empty of contents. Then to Target to recycle all the plastic bags the local groceries insist on using. Target has the decency to collect them and offer you the opportunity to use one of theirs sold for 99 cents. They also take a nickel off your receipt for using it. After that I will work on pulling more out of my storage to get rid of or better organize. I also intend to get out my good backpack and some of my equipment. I am not quite ready for hard climbing but it will be a reminder to get to work on shaping up.